


Call It Passive or Aggressive

by kalopsia (girltalk)



Category: iKON (Kpop)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Emotionally Constipated Junhoe, Friends to Lovers, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-24
Updated: 2015-05-24
Packaged: 2018-03-31 23:37:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3997474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/girltalk/pseuds/kalopsia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Junhwe’s pretty good at self-sabotage, so it’s not like he tries to ruin Donghyuk’s dates — it just comes naturally.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Call It Passive or Aggressive

**Author's Note:**

  * For [markerlimes (sunmi)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunmi/gifts).



> originally posted on [livejournal](http://kalopsia.livejournal.com/9529.html)!

Donghyuk looks like he's about ready to take Junhwe to court -- which, if it does come to that, Junhwe is prepared to testify that he'd been provoked first.  
  
"Are you proud of yourself?" Donghyuk asks. Junhwe shrugs, is about to take a bite of risotto from Taehyun's abandoned plate, until Donghyuk slides it away from him so his fork ends up stabbing the table instead.  
  
" _What?_ " Junhwe whines. Usually Donghyuk is fairly accommodating with Junhwe skirting around certain issues, but unfortunately his staple generosity for the night seems to have been wasted on Taehyun, so he shoots Junhwe a wounded look, and grips the tablecloth in a way that very effectively conveys  _'yeah we're gonna fucking talk about it'_.  
  
"Listen," Junhwe pleads, "you heard him, he was coming at me!"  
  
" _All_  he said was that he thought Michael Jackson was overrated, that is literally it. You know he says worse about him behind your back," Donghyuk ignores Junhwe's affronted gasp, "but he diluted it down tonight for you."  
  
" _That_  was him diluting it? He was reciting an essay at me. Had a thesis statement, topic sentence, evidence,  _everything_." Donghyuk's lips quirk up, and Junhwe is more than happy to brush everything under the table. He spins his fork around his fingers, and is about to dig into the half-eaten quiche in front of him, when Donghyuk steals it from under his nose.  
  
"I thought you weren't mad at me anymore!" Junhwe exclaims, trying to make a grab for at least the complimentary bread, until Donghyuk snatches that away from him as well.  
  
"I never said that?" Donghyuk says, furrowing his eyebrows. "Just because I don't show my anger by being mean."  
  
"You're being pretty mean right now," Junhwe grumbles, sliding his half-empty glass of coke towards himself, lest Donghyuk try and hold that hostage too.  
  
"I feel like you're doing this on purpose," Donghyuk muses, "I mean, you aren't usually  _this_  obnoxious. In fact, sometimes you're even tolerable to be around."  
  
"Doing what on purpose?" Junhwe asks.  
  
"Uh...." Donghyuk drawls, or well, tries to drawl, the closest thing to sarcasm Donghyuk can actually execute is probably mild disinterest. "Ruining every single relationship I've ever attempted to be in?"  
  
"That's a lie?" Junhwe tries.  
  
Donghyuk levels him with a disbelieving look. Which in Junhwe's opinion, is completely uncalled for. Sure, Junhwe's track record with meeting Donghyuk's dates haven't been exemplary in the last few months, but saying that it's on purpose is villainizing Junhwe in this situation.  
  
It's like this: Donghyuk has been Junhwe's best friend ever since freshman orientation day at high school; when he had approached Junhwe with a handshake, a smile, and a homemade name tag pinned on the front of his shirt. He looked like a total nerd and Junhwe didn't want anything to do with him. Unfortunately Donghyuk didn't get the hint and he'd stuck to Junhwe all through the first week, until eventually Junhwe shook him off, sat down on a lunch table, and realised that without Donghyuk hanging off his side, he had no friends.  
  
Of course, this was all before they hit senior year. Junhwe spent the entire summer between junior and senior year mowing front lawns and desperately trying to build muscle by hitting the gym every morning and night. Donghyuk had gone to a Palaeontology Summer camp, sending Junhwe snapchats of variably shaped rocks that Junhwe would close after the first second. By the time school rolled around, Junhwe had gone months without seeing Donghyuk. And that is why, when Donghyuk pulled up to Junhwe's driveway that first morning in his ugly secondhand Toyota, Junhwe had shut the door in his face. He turned away, closed his eyes, counted to ten, and braced himself before opening the door again, and no, he wasn't dreaming. Donghyuk had... built up. No longer scrawny and skinny, he was lithe, toned, and a bunch of other words Junhwe had only ever read in harlequin novels (ironically, of course).  
  
People had always liked Donghyuk. After all, there’s not much to dislike. He’s friendly, cute, and Junhwe sets himself up as a great foil that manages to make Donghyuk look better than he actually is, without expecting any thanks either. After that summer though, things changed. People started  _liking_  Donghyuk. As in, giggling behind books, staring too long in the locker room, constantly harassing Junhwe with love letters to give Donghyuk that were drenched with perfume that made his eyes water. Donghyuk never really learnt how to say no either, so he’d been going on a date every other week, and occasionally a few of those dates would turn into several dates, and sometimes they reached a point where Donghyuk apparently liked the guy or girl enough to want to introduce them to Junhwe.  
  
If Donghyuk’s intention was to use Junhwe as some kind of litmus test, then Junhwe feels justified in saying that he’s only doing his job.  
  
“Bobby,” Donghyuk starts.  
  
Junhwe waves his fork in the air. “That’s unfair, he’s--”  
  
“Fine, fine,” Donghyuk concedes, “I’ll give you that one. Hana?”  
  
“She was only using you to make Bobby jealous,” Junhwe says. Probably. It’s not a far off possibility, so he doesn’t know why Donghyuk has to roll his eyes like that.  
  
“Okay then,” Donghyuk takes a breadstick and sticks it in his mouth, “what about Seungyoon?”  
  
Junhwe wrinkles his nose. “Taehyun lite. Also I hate his…” he waves his arms in front of his head.  
  
Donghyuk furrows his eyebrows. “His face?”  
  
“No just…” Junhwe looks for the word. “His aura.”  
  
“You mean his personality?”  
  
Junhwe nods, taking a drink from his glass. “Yeah, that thing.”  
  
“Alright then, what about Yunhyeong?” Donghyuk challenges.  
  
“He took us to his Dad’s barbeque!” Junhwe exclaims, like it explained everything. “It’s showing off. Narcissistic people can’t be around narcissistic people. You’d know that if you paid more attention in chemistry.”  
  
Donghyuk narrows his eyes. “What about Hayi? By the end of it she wanted to punch you in the face.”  
  
“She wasn’t wired properly,” Junhwe explains, “Hayi-bot had to go back to the factory for repairs.”  
  
“Mino?”  
  
“Mino was cool! It was like I was witnessing the early stages of Evolution of Man.”  
  
“Soohyun?”  
  
“I don’t think she even realised the date was over, she would  _not_  stop talking.”  
  
“Hongseok?”  
  
“He only likes you for your brain. Just your brain. Like he wants to keep it in a glass jar somewhere.”  
  
“Jinwoo?”  
  
“He came thirty minutes late. I don’t know how he could have expected anything but the reception I gave him.”  
  
“Seunghoon?”  
  
“Self-explanatory.”  
  
“ _Chanwoo_?”  
  
“Barf.”  
  
Donghyuk is silent for a few seconds, staring at Junhwe incredulously, but also like he was waiting for something. Junhwe feels his skin prickle, starts playing with his napkin to avoid eye contact.  
  
“Is there something you want to tell me Junhwe?” Donghyuk asks, softly. Junhwe startles, looks up and feels his muscles tighten at the expectant stare Donghyuk is sending his way.  
  
He swallows, and Donghyuk reaches a hand out to rest on the middle of the table. Close enough for Junhwe to hold.  
  
“Junhwe?” He repeats.  
  
Junhwe takes a deep breath. Licks his lips. “No,” he replies.  
  
Donghyuk blinks, looks taken aback. “Oh,” he says. Junhwe’s stomach curls into itself the more Donghyuk looks around confused. “Well okay then. I… I don’t know, I don’t have anything more to say. Bye Junhwe,” he mutters, cleaning off the table with his napkin.  
  
“Do you need a ride home?” Junhwe asks. “Taehyun gave you a lift ri--”  
  
“No, I’m fine,” Donghyuk assures. He brings out his wallet and digs some cash out of it, placing it on the table. “Here, it’ll cover me and Taehyun. Sorry for wasting your time,” he mumbles.  
  
He’s walking away from the table, only stops and turns towards Junhwe once, right when he’s at the door. When Junhwe doesn’t say anything, Donghyuk sighs and pushes his way out. The small tinkle of the door chime follows him, and Junhwe buries his face into his hands.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
His mother looks concerned when Junhwe comes home early and immediately goes to find solace in the living room, surfing channels until he finds one where things are being blown up.  
  
“Are you okay?” she asks, looking down at him from the side of the couch. “Do you need me to call Donghyuk?”  
  
Junhwe watches an abandoned factory explode on TV and wishes he were inside of it.  
  
It’s not like Donghyuk’s even angry at Junhwe. He just looked, upset? Hurt? Disappointed? Whatever, Junhwe stands by everything he said. Maybe not what came out of his mouth, but definitely everything he meant. Junhwe has been Donghyuk’s best friend since the beginning of Teenage Time. He had to put up with Donghyuk during his wannabe Usher phase, his Classical Music phase, even his Brony phase. He once spent two hours after school going through the dumpster behind the gym looking for Donghyuk’s glasses. Had to endure entire lunches listening to Donghyuk go  _on and on_  about the microphone’s influence on pop singing, and this was back  _before_  Donghyuk developed a self-filter.  
  
Yet somehow, in between all of the unwilling Museum excursions, lunches with just the two of them sitting underneath the bleachers, and misplaced retainers, Junhwe  _still_  managed to end up falling hard for Donghyuk. Then what? Donghyuk comes back with a body that, in Junhwe’s opinion, is too buffed for his stupid face anyway, and everybody else suddenly has a better chance than he does.  
  
Junhwe’s an expert in self-riling, so by the time the ad break rolls around, he feels indignant and annoyed all over again. He looks at his phone and knows if he tries calling Donghyuk it’ll go straight to voicemail.  
  
It’s 10pm on a school night, and Junhwe has a bunch of shows downloaded he’d rather be watching, a bed he’d rather be sleeping in, but he gets up and grabs his coat to go to Donghyuk’s house and say God knows what, anyway.  
  
He pulls open the front door and is about to storm out, until he registers someone in front of him and freezes.  
  
Donghyuk has a finger on the doorbell and is looking at Junhwe, mouth parted in a perfect ‘o’.  
  
This is great. So convenient. It saves Junhwe so much time, and he should probably do what he’d been ready to do just a few seconds ago. After all, Donghyuk is right in front of him now. Here. Real. Ready to listen. Junhwe should talk.  
  
“Did you forget something?” Junhwe says instead.  
  
Junhwe’s always known this-- never admitted it out loud, but accepted it as fact. Donghyuk is a saint. A gift from above sent just for Junhwe. Junhwe doesn't think he's ever appreciated him as much as he does now, when Donghyuk smiles at him, amused and slightly shy, doing everything Junhwe is incapable of doing.  
  
“You’re an idiot,” Donghyuk says. “At this rate I’ll have to get married for you to do anything.” He reaches a hand behind Junhwe’s head, and pulls him forward into a kiss. Junhwe’s still for a moment, until his blood finally starts rushing, and he grabs Donghyuk’s face to kiss him deeper.  
  
A honk sounds from the road and Junhwe jumps back. He leans sideways to get a good view behind Donghyuk, and scowls at the aberrance parked outside his house.  
  
“What did I say?” Bobby calls from his terribly coloured sports car. “If in doubt--”  
  
“Leave it to Bobby,” Donghyuk finishes, like he was reciting the Bible. This is real. This is the person Junhwe has decided to fall for.  
  
“Come on,” Junhwe says, grabbing Donghyuk’s hand and pulling him inside.  
  
“Oh,” Donghyuk says, surprised, but not protesting. “I should probably tell Bobby he can leave then, we didn’t think you’d get over yourself this fast. Actually, do you have ten dollars I can borrow, I owe him some money.”  
  
Junhwe feels a vein throb in his forehead. “Leave him,” he says, shutting the door behind them.  
  
“He’s going to be parked outside all night otherwise--”  
  
“This won’t take long,” Junhwe insists. Only a few hours, Bobby can survive.  
  
“Well I’d  _hope_  not,” Donghyuk says, pushing his glasses up his nose. “I know your mum’s home, I don’t want to do any hanky panky while she’s down the hall.”  
  
“ _Hanky pank_ -” Junhwe shakes his head. “No, let’s just watch a movie and… kiss,” he suggests, his face going red at the fact that his ears are _definitely_  red. A never ending cycle of embarrassment.  
  
“Oh cool,” Donghyuk says, interlacing their fingers together. “Can I call Bobby inside then?” Junhwe opens his mouth -- to scream at the ceiling, maybe -- when Donghyuk breaks into a grin. “Just kidding.” He moves forward to peck Junhwe on the mouth. “What, you think I’m going to let you get off that easily? Do you know how much money I wasted on dates the last few months because you couldn’t get it together?”  
  
Donghyuk smiles at him, lopsided and cheeky. Junhwe has to bite the inside of his cheek to stop himself from moving forward to kiss him. He hates this newfound super power Donghyuk has against him. “I’m worth that much at least,” he defends weakly, slowly losing the battle against his resolve.  
  
Donghyuk pretends to think about it deeply for a minute, and Junhwe lightly kicks his shin. “More,” Donghyuk decides. He wraps his arms around Junhwe’s neck. “Definitely more.”


End file.
